I’m just back from five days interstate where I visited a good friend and his partner. While I had apprehensions about going up I’ve returned home calm, happy and relieved. I finally had the opportunity to tell him face-to-face that I started T 10-months ago and how I felt about my genderqueer journey. All my fears about him not getting it and not understanding vanished when he asked me, 5mins after he picked me up from the YHA , about my voice and facial hair – his smiling face told me he was OK with it. I knew he would be, he’s been through this too, but there was a part of me that loved him so much and couldn’t imagine what it would be like if he didn’t get my genderqueerness. Anyhow I am now back home and miss him terribly.
After it all I realized how much I missed him during the beginning of this journey of mine. In-between all these months of T, changes, dysphoria and life he was missing, because I hadn’t told him – I went though some of this alone but am forever thankful to the handful of Melbourne friends that have always been there (on Facebook, GQA catch-ups and over chai and coffee).
In-between our catch-ups we also went to see Antony Hegarty and Charles Atlas’ screening of ‘Turning‘ which inspired me, together with Midwest GenderQueer, to really think about who I am, want to be and how I want to be seen. I am so open within GQA and my working within the sex and/or gender diverse community yet hide at work and at netball – what if people knew the ‘real me’ – and who is the ‘real’ me anyhow? This will be something of a mini-project for me over the coming months.