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Europe 2019

13 Nov

In July I set-off for a 9.5 week trip to England, Morocco, Italy, Ireland and Russia with my Australian passport that has my sex listed as ‘Female’. I did think about altering passport/s to an ‘I’, but I have read and heard mixed reviews about the pros and cons.

I left Australia clean shaven as I was meeting family upon my arrival, and none have really been told about my gender. I think overall I am read more as male/masculine so most of the time it’s a male airport security member that approaches me. In the past year it’s been a mixture of genders, with most often female officers attending to me. Throughout my travels I did on occasion receive the odd look from airport security and staff, this was mainly because I dressed more feminine than my facial hair would assume I would.

The one event that stood out regarding my gender was at customs, exiting Russia, preparing to fly out to England. I presented at the airport as I arrived into the country – unshaven, in a t-shirt and jeans, no binder, and a female passport. The lady at border security did several retakes from my face to my passport photo (which I have to say is almost 10yrs old AND included a recent photo with my approved Russia Visa application). The border security lady asked me to remove my hat and glasses, requested my name and date of birth, why I didn’t have the same hair cut/colour or same piercings (I explained the photo was almost 10yrs old and how I got new frames for my glasses too). I admit I was worried that I wouldn’t be let out of the country, but I was also confused/puzzled as to how I was allowed into the country looking the same way (unshaven, in a t-shirt and jeans, no binder, and a female passport).

While travelling around I opted to use the male toilets mostly, expect when I was out with family or the tour groups as I didn’t explain my gender. On occasion I used the women’s in Morocco, Italy and England without issue. In Russia I got referred to as ‘he’ and used the male toilets exclusively so as not to confuse anyone. While with the tour group I got to remain in the ‘male’ assigned room when we had a few hours or a day of waiting for transport – I honestly have no idea how I managed that as I do not feel I ‘pass’ that well over a long period of time.

While I can’t remember where I went through a full-body scanner I had no issues at all, by this I mean I went through and out without being stopped or asked questions. Just to note I do no bind or pack, and grew out my facial hair throughout my trip.  

Participants Needed: Research for X gender markers

27 Apr

Chris has come to Australia for a short time to interview people who have acquired or are interested in getting an Australian passport with the gender marker X. This research also extends to people who use or want to use the gender marker X for other documents and identification.

Australia was the first place in the world to issue passports with an X, and this information is looking into why people want these passports (and other documents), how they are being used, and how best to support mobility of people holding these documents throughout the world.

Although Chris won’t be in Australia much longer, they will be continuing the research from afar and would be thrilled to send the questionnaire to (or schedule a skype meeting with) anyone who is able to participate. So, if you happen to be somewhere else in the world and are willing to be involved, please feel free to make contact. 

Please email Chris at they need as many people to participate as possible. Chris is apart of the community and research is being conducted in a safe supportive manner.

Yoga for a Genderqueer

29 Jun

13495268_10154201271417457_6552833513430772571_nWhen creating or thinking about trans friendly/inclusive yoga, the main thought should be about being welcoming and inclusive, as often these spaces don’t feel so for those that don’t fit the mould. The second thought is about the description, what does it mean when a class states it is a safe space and/or welcoming to ‘transgender and gender non-conforming people’?

Reading Nick Krieger’s “Why Trans and Queer Yoga?” recently when trying to draft an email to one of my local yoga teachers (yes I do go to two different yoga studios). The small, almost all female, classes I attend are run by a group of wonderful and kind women. We are all referred to as ladies, girls and goddesses throughout the class – misgendering and referring to me with female pronouns. Like Nick Krieger I realised that the teacher’s would have no way of knowing the impact of their words, however I also don’t know how to tell them.

The second yoga studio is relatively new and is very inclusive to all body sizes and genders. I feel more ‘me’ there yet I still struggle with the gendered language. There is hope for me in this group as the instructor is queer identified and working hard to create a safe space for trans and queer individuals – YAY!

Other classes that I have found so far advertise ‘queer and trans’, but I am not too sure if they know themselves what the needs are of transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Do we need to possibly spend an hour on diversity and inclusion when including the ‘trans’ in event titles? Are they stating that they are providing a space for ‘visibly’ trans people, and if so where do I fit in as genderqueer when I keep getting referred to as ‘she’ or as one of the ‘girls’?

What is all the fuss about? The benefits of creating a safe space for everyone is so each individual can feel that they are amongst like-minded people. You don’t want someone to be self-conscious of their body or stressed about how they identify or present. I would like to walk into a yoga class where the world, and room, isn’t being divided into binary genders, a place where you won’t stand out if you bind or pack to express your gender.

Here are a few things that could make queer/trans yoga different from other yoga classes:
  • small group of other queer/trans people
  • introductions with pronouns and check-ins about feelings (if this is not possible in a group then the teachers/instructor should at least be aware of everyone’s name and/or pronouns)
  • a visibly/vocally queer/trans instructor (as much as I love one of my yoga classes I struggle to connect with a room full of cis women)
  • no gendered language on the part of the instructor
  • less about hardcore exercise, closer to gentle stretches and meditation (this is with keeping in mind that some individuals may also be recovering from surgery)
  • lots of “if you are able” and “if that is accessible to you” to not assume all participants can, say, close their eyes for meditation or reach a deeper version of a pose
*Thanks to Ilan in helping to create this list.
Here are two places that have crossed my radar, however I haven’t been to either of the trans and queer friendly classes:

Queer and Trans Inclusive (QTI) Yoga Melbourne describes itself as “a safe yoga space for the LQBTIQ+ community and their friends. All welcome including absolute beginners.”

Chunky Yoga, who provide classes in a safe place to explore the practice of yoga regardless of your size, gender, age, sexuality or race. There are also plans of starting trans and queer friendly classes in Prahran/St Kilda!

Preferred Name and Pronouns at Work Part 4

1 Dec

Today, after many month (well almost a year), the General Manager of my workplace has posted the following statement on the organisation’s intranet today: (more…)

Preferred Name and Pronouns at Work Part 3

21 Nov



gerund or present participle: misgendering
1. refer to (someone, especially a transgender person) using a word, especially a pronoun or form of address, that does not correctly reflect the gender with which they identify.
So after emailing my work colleagues, and posting, about my preferred name and pronouns at work here and here, some people are still continue to struggle and using ‘she’. It was all a little surreal as during this period of time, a couple of days actually, the training coordinator, and fellow queer, approached me about diversity training and to check how I was doing.
The first occurrence was when a manager referred to me as ‘she’ when chatting to a client (e.g. “I am sure that wasn’t her intention” and “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind at all”). I’ve raised this once in supervision when I had a client ask me if I was a boy or a girl, which I didn’t respond to and continued to focus on their issue and needs (I work mostly over the telephone or via online chat). I admit right here and now that I struggle so much with advocating and standing up for myself in terms of my gender identity and pronoun preference, however that’s another story.
The second occurrence, which happened on the same day, was when an older 70yr old colleague asked “How are you pretty lady?”. I responded that I was doing ok and enjoying my weekend at work, and also clarified that I don’t identify as female. I believe my response challenged him a little, and maybe I could have not said anything, because as soon as I had uttered that he told me about a recent experience:
He’d entered a workshop that he was presenting at and addressed the room with “Good morning guys!”, which wasn’t welcomed as enthusiastically as he’d hoped by the room full of mothers. Following that he tried “ladies”, which again didn’t go down too well, and ended with “Well how would you prefer I address you as?”. Their response was for him to use their name, which he was quick to explain that he didn’t have the time, having just walked into the room, to have asked.
I got his point and frustration, yet he failed to have learned from this experience. To add injury to insult he calls all the men “guys” or “mate”, which clearly highlights that he see’s me as female. I am yet to talk about my Team Leader about this, more because I would like to find another way to communicate to work colleges about this.


No one like me

8 Jul

I went to this month’s Genderqueer Australia (GQA) gathering, which was small but cozy. I chatted a while about my physical and mental health, reason for starting T and thoughts about stopping, and ended up with feeling a little lighter for sharing but still unsure about my decisions. The highlight of my day was discovering Janitorqueer’s blog and Tumbler.

I was advised to re-visit Neutrois Nonsense who touches on low-dose testosterone and being hypothyroid. I have to say what an amazing blog/resource it is, I wish I had discovered it 3+ years ago when I was starting on my own hormone journey. I find it a challenging read however as it talks about hysterectomies and top surgery – both things I have thought about but chosen not to do at present. I am find it really difficult to think about stopping T (see previous post for reasons why), and while researching online can be helpful it doesn’t provide me with a forum to talk it out face-to-face with someone [who understands my particular journey]. There are people I could talk to over a nice cup of Chai, but I don’t because a) they are busy, b) there’s a personality clash or c) I don’t know the person well enough to approach them.

I did however have some success over the last few weeks. For starters my Sleep Apnea is slowly being managed and monitored, which will hopefully mean a gradual increase in energy levels and a decrease in fatigue. Secondly, my current GP confirmed that I may in fact had been misdiagnosed with hypothyroidism and to stop my current medication for a month so we can do a comparative blood test. Lastly, I was prescribed a quarter dose of Finasteride per day to see if that helps with the hair loss. Small victories.


Questioning stopping T

20 Jun

Lately I’ve been thinking about changing to T Gel, reducing my dose or stopping all together. The reasons for this are mostly to do with recent health issues and the anxiety I feel about hair loss/thinning.


30 Day Genderqueer Challenge Day 23

19 May

Write a poem about being Genderqueer (if you struggle, try a haiku, acrostic poem with your name, or just a stream of consciousness paragraph).

I am a genderqueer
Nor boi grrl but in between
Pronoun “they” not “she”

*with thanks to

Adapted from the 30 day Trans challenge and the 30 day [GSM] challenge

Preferred name and pronouns at work – Part 2

10 Mar

Yesterday I was approached by one of my work colleagues, who happens to be a gay male, wanting to discuss my recent email. He wanted to know why I sent it, what gender neutral pronouns were and how on earth you would expect someone to use ‘they’ while you could just use their first name (ok valid point). He then progressed into asking me if I was a hermaphrodite… At that point I was caught between thinking “what the… did he just say that?” and wondering if I should explain to him how:

a) that term is perhaps not appropriate;
b) explaining the difference between intersex and trans*; and
c) that is none of his business (which I didn’t in fact think about until this morning).

Throughout the last week several counsellors have thanked me for my email, asked me about it a little further and also helped educated others who have not felt comfortable enough to approach me. I however, wrongly, assumed that some of the queer staff at work would have some idea about gender diversity. By the end of yesterday I actually felt quite upset and angry that I allowed myself to be so vulnerable and didn’t have my wits about me to say how that question was both inappropriate and non of his business.

Overall however I had over 15 emails acknowledging my request, congratulating me and supporting me. One person asked, via email, if I could clarify whether I would like my preferred name and gender neutral pronouns to be applied only when dealing with clients who may refer to me by name and/or in general. Thankfully my response didn’t reflect my thoughts and feeling of ‘what part of preferred name and pronouns do you not understand!?’.

Preferred name and pronouns at work

26 Feb

In my last Team Leader meeting I asked if it would be ok for me to request for my preferred name to be used in all IT systems at work (e.g. email correspondence, case note records and within the programs we use to manage client information). I also asked if I could send out an email to staff to let them know about my preferred name a pronoun change. Here is the response I got after it needed to be discussed with the Team Manager: (more…)