Over the last few months I’ve been using the men’s toilets, on occasion, however I am still more comfortable with unisex or female toilets despite my facial hair. There have been jokes about me being a bearded lady, maybe that’s why I’ve not had a problem (thus far) in female only spaces…? Do they really think I have this affliction (facial hair) and allow me into the women’s bathrooms because they feel pity for me? Surely not…
Anyhow I’ve been choosing the men’s bathrooms if a) I am out and about with someone else who is male/passes as male; b) I feel confident enough; c) the other toilets available have a crazy long line and I really need to pee (and am feeling brave); d) I don’t feel safe walking into the women’s; e) I am not with family; f) I feel like I don’t have a choice.
Other thoughts:
– I still do not feel okay around male family members and being in the men’s toilets with them, which is hugely around me not having really said much about being on T or my facial hair.
– I’ve walked out of a few men’s toilets after walking in and feeling my confidence vanish. There are so many “rules” in the men’s bathroom, like don’t look at anyone or make small talk (which I’ve been socialised with being brought up as a girl).
– Why is there only one cubicle in a men’s bathroom!?!?
– I fluctuate between still feeling like I am an impostor when I go into men’s toilets, and knowing that men don’t really pay attention to who walks in or what they look like (but still…)
– I will be visiting Europe in August and September so that will be an interesting experience on the topic of what toilets do/should I use.