Hypothyroidism + Low-dose T

10 Nov

I am seeking other trans guys and genderqueers with a low thyroid to so we can discuss and compare the effects of hormones on how we are.

A little bit about me: Around the same time as I started a low-dose of testosterone, 2+ years ago, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism (an under-active thyroid). I am currently on 75 micrograms of thyroxine daily and 125mg of Primoteston every 3-4 weeks.

Taking T or Thyroxine hasn’t helped with my energy levels, and just recently I found out that my loss of hair could not only be due to testosterone, but also because I have an under-active thyroid! I tried speaking with my doctor, endocrinologist and other sufferers of Hypothyroidism but have always found that I cannot talk about being on T and Thyroxine – no one gets it!

In Pseudonymity Veritas

4 Jun

I’ve had the pleasure to be involved in a new interactive mixed media project titled “In Pseudonymity Veritas”.

 

(Re)framing Gender

17 May

Last night I prepared a short piece for (Re)framing Gender fundraiser and IDAHOBIT event. Originally it must a much larger piece that I had submitted to ‘Letters for my Siblings’, which got turned down. I re-wrote the piece in place of not having had enough time to develop a drag/gender performance for the night.

I wanted to share it on here as I’m needing to shorten my ten-minute piece down to five minutes to ensure no-one is left out. This is what I would have read if time allowed…

Continue reading 

Reducing T and sexual health

21 Apr

I’ve gone back to half-a-dose of T every 3-4 weeks (depends on how busy I am) and want to ideally stay on this or lower. I’ve contemplated using the gel/cream but I am worried that I will start getting a monthly cycle again, and that’s the one reason I am staying on the injections. Being on a higher dose did make me less tired but it also made me realise how much hair I was loosing (correlation or not) and also questioning why I was staying on T almost two-years on. It is so hard not knowing what this stuff is doing to me now and what effect it will have on my future. I am really thankfull of friends who are in a similar position to me and the various blogs I follow. This has kind of given me a bit of idea however, maybe a way to collect this info and be able to share it with others.

Continue reading 

Topical forms of T in Australia

16 Apr

I recently answered a voicemail message from someone seeking information about topical forms of T available in Australia – in particular what info to give to their pharmacist who doesn’t seem to have a clue.

So with some searching and asking I received the following info that I have been given permission to share:

The three topical forms of T available in Australia are Testogel (comes in sachets, included in the PBS; messy and I found it didn’t absorb so well), Axiron (roller applied underarm – new last year on PBS, haven’t tried it) and then AndroForte/AndroFemme, available from http://www.lawleydirect.com.au (cream, seems to absorb pretty well).

The first two should be available everywhere even if the pharmacist has to order it (see http://www.pbs.gov.au/medicine/item/8830R and http://www.pbs.gov.au/medicine/item/2341F), whereas AndroForte is only available in Western Australia but they ship it (I’ve been doing this and it’s worked fine). If it’s not possible to get T on Medicare due to gender marker issues, then AndroForte may be significantly cheaper on a per dose basis.

* I don’t use topical cream personally, so the comments are not mine.

Low dose vs. high dose

19 Feb

I went to the Dr today to have a chat about my T levels since starting the upped dose of 200mg from my half dosage of 125mg. My last blood tests from Dec ’14 show that my testosterone levels are higher (12?) than my previous tests where the were at a 9. He informed me that they like T levels to be around 14(?) as these are within the ‘normal’ male range. Of course this range is to continue masculinizing effects…so what about me?

I upped my dose a few months ago to see if it would change my energy levels and libido. Since the end of last year I have taken some time off over Christmas so feel rested – is it the T or the break that helped me feel less tired? In-between all of this my libido hasn’t changed, I’ve never felt that urge that other trans* guys talk about. One worry is my hairy back and how much hair I am loosing in the shower! To add to this list is whether my voice will change if I stop T all together, as in will it get a little higher? A big reason I don’t want to stop T completely at the moment is not wanting to deal with having a period again.

For now I am staying on the same 200mg dose for another three six shots and then have a blood test.

 

 

30 Day Genderqueer Challenge Day 20

17 Jan

How has your relationship with the cisgender people in your life changed?

I am not sure that my relationship with the cisgender people in my life has changed that much, then again now I think about it I think it actually has.

Before I started T cisgender people who aren’t queer in my life saw me as a lesbian/dyke, while those who were part of the LGBTI/queer community too saw me as androgynous/tomboy, female.  Now, I feel queer cisgender people see me as trans* or ‘different’ because they hear my voice has changed or that I have facial hair.  Non-queer cisgender people, such as family and work colleagues, see me still as possibly as a lesbian but I don’t really know because I dare not think or ask what they see in me. So in a way I’ve pulled away from some people because they don’t understand and in a way I don’t know what to say or how to explain.

I feel I can’t be genderqueer around my queer cisgender friends or acquaintances because they don’t ‘get’ what it means. I can’t be trans* because in their eyes it means transition from one gender to another. With non-queer cisgender people I feel like a freak. I cannot explain who I am or who I want to be. I shave before I go to work just so they don’t notice my facial hair too much.

I’ve always had a small group of friends, however I feel starting T and changing has caused me to pull away from people who don’t understand. Yet I ask how can other understand when I don’t make a point to stop and explain?

Adapted from the 30 day Trans challenge and the 30 day [GSM] challenge

30 Day Genderqueer Challenge Day 19

11 Dec

Do you feel comfortable answering questions about your gender to friends? Acquaintances? Strangers?

I was just about to say that I am more than happy to answer questions about gender in general, but I guess when it comes down to my gender it depends on who asks.

Sometimes it is easier when it is coming from a stranger, for example when I might be facilitating or running training around Trans* 101 or gender diversity. No one knows me so I don’t really care about other people’s judgements and am more than comfortable challenging inappropriate questions or assumptions made.

Acquaintances, especially people who I might be starting to get to know, sometimes make me feel a little more uncomfortable in answering questions about my gender. A work colleague for example would trigger a mild anxiety attack as I feel uncomfortable as is being ‘me’ at work. I think everyone assumes I am a lesbian and no one has ever asked anything else about me. I’ve told a select number of people at work about my involvement within the trans* community and disclosed my pronoun preference, but that is about it. My comfort level with other acquaintances really depends on many factors like how did I meet this person, do they understand the basic trans* stuff, what questions are they asking and how do they identify.

Very few friends (who aren’t trans* themselves) have asked me about my gender and overall I am more than happy to answer. I have to say one or two people have asked me very personal and possibly inappropriate questions, which at the time I answerd too quickly and honestly. It wasn’t until I was recounting the conversation with trans* friends that they flagged it as not appropriate – even for someone who I consider a friend. I suppose at the time I got caught up on ‘educating’ them about trans* stuff that I didn’t think about what questions were ok not to answered. For this reason I’ve often referred people to the Dude Trans Male Zine section of appropriate and inappropriate questions.

Adapted from the 30 day Trans challenge and the 30 day [GSM] challenge

30 Day Genderqueer Challenge Day 18

25 Nov

What is your sexual and romantic orientations? Are they affected by your gender?

Pre-genderqueer and T I identified as a lesbian/dyke and found myself sexually and romantically oriented to cis-women mostly, and the few trans* guys I happened to glimpse upon.

Pre-testosterone I identified as queer and was sexually and romantically oriented to other genderqueers, trans* and non-binary folk.

Currently my sexual orientation is non-existant, however it has returned back to lesbians, as well as encompassing ‘guys’, genderqueers, trans* and non-binary folk. Romantically however I am not quite sure…

I don’t think my gender affected my sexual and/or romantic orientations – apart from confusing how I identify and what it would make me if I liked ‘a’, ‘b’ or ‘c’. I feel T has affected my sexual orientation, or who I am sexually attracted to, with the most obvious change being cis-guys.

Adapted from the 30 day Trans challenge and the 30 day [GSM] challenge

30 Day Genderqueer Challenge Day 17

6 Nov

How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were Genderqueer?

I was actually just thinking about this before I started work today. A few months ago I verbally removed myself from the lesbian community, saying I didn’t consider myself a lesbian or wanting anything to do with this part of the community. I think in part I felt abandoned by some of my dyke friends and also felt myself becoming neither one thing or the other, so how could I fit it. In hidsight I wish I hadn’t jumped to conclusions and sat with what had been going on for me internally.

Since realizing I was genderqueer I’ve felt a sense of relief, like it was ok to feel like this and want to start homones but not necessarily have surgery or want to be seen an exclusively male. This however is a difficult path and one I am still exploring and battling against.

I thought after starting T  I would begin to feel more comfortable with myself. In a way I have and a lot of it is about positive changes I was wanting – not having a menstrual cycle, my voice dropping, facial hair and an increase in libido. On the other hand I’ve had moments where I panicked about my voice changing/having changed, being turned off by body hair increasing, seeing my libido turning me away from sex with others, and feeling at times confused with where I am going with all of this (T). I guess you could say that my relationship with myself since strating hormones has been a rollercoaster.

Adapted from the 30 day Trans challenge and the 30 day [GSM] challenge