No one like me

I went to this month’s Genderqueer Australia (GQA) gathering, which was small but cozy. I chatted a while about my physical and mental health, reason for starting T and thoughts about stopping, and ended up with feeling a little lighter for sharing but still unsure about my decisions. The highlight of my day was discovering Janitorqueer’s blog and Tumbler.

I was advised to re-visit Neutrois Nonsense who touches on low-dose testosterone and being hypothyroid. I have to say what an amazing blog/resource it is, I wish I had discovered it 3+ years ago when I was starting on my own hormone journey. I find it a challenging read however as it talks about hysterectomies and top surgery – both things I have thought about but chosen not to do at present. I am find it really difficult to think about stopping T (see previous post for reasons why), and while researching online can be helpful it doesn’t provide me with a forum to talk it out face-to-face with someone [who understands my particular journey]. There are people I could talk to over a nice cup of Chai, but I don’t because a) they are busy, b) there’s a personality clash or c) I don’t know the person well enough to approach them.

I did however have some success over the last few weeks. For starters my Sleep Apnea is slowly being managed and monitored, which will hopefully mean a gradual increase in energy levels and a decrease in fatigue. Secondly, my current GP confirmed that I may in fact had been misdiagnosed with hypothyroidism and to stop my current medication for a month so we can do a comparative blood test. Lastly, I was prescribed a quarter dose of Finasteride per day to see if that helps with the hair loss. Small victories.

*On a side note: I was disappointed to hear that a friend felt uncomfortable attending another social/support group. I have not attended myself because I don’t feel I fit into the aim/description of the group. What I am hearing from other people however, is that despite the support group stating everyone is welcome regardless of their gender identify or hormones, there is a push towards/assumption of the same direction. If I were to slightly exaggerate it would look something like this:

  • First meeting – “As we’re a group for MANLY MEN you should identify as….”
  • Second meeting – “We all know that binding is important so here are some links.”
  • Third meeting – “Here is where to go to access hormones.”
  • Fourth meeting – “In order to look more like a guy you need to buy a packer and STP.”
  • Fifth meeting – “Male or female partners are welcome.”
  • Sixth meeting – “When are you booking in to get your surgery consult?”
  • Seventh meeting – “You’ll want to plan to have your hysto soon.”
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