No tears genderqueer

24 Sep

I’ve just finished writing to someone on Livejournal who I’ve been corresponding with for a couple of months. I am so thankful for the few people who I am able to talk openly about taking T and being genderqueer, because in my day-to-day life I don’t talk much about it unless it’s for a workshop or as a guest speaker. It is funny that I am quite open with strangers but don’t really sit down with friends and talk about this kind of stuff. I don’t even know if some of my trans* friends know – or at least it may be known but I have never spoken about it.

I am due to increase my dose tomorrow but I am hesitant because I’ve already found it hard to cry in the last couple of weeks and I don’t feel 100% jumping from 125mg to 200mg – is it me or is that a HUGE jump. Can’t the Dr find a middle ground, like 175mg??? So maybe no increase for now. My main reasons (to increase my dose) were to see if it helped with my energy levels and sex drive – no I am not one of those people who suddenly has to hump everything in sight (thank goodness). As for the crying it isn’t something I am overly stressed about but I am glad I noticed it now. I’ve been fine up until a few months ago when I would find myself crying when upset, scared or watching a soppy movie. A few weeks ago however I bottled up my tears at a friend’s funeral and found myself unable to let the tears out afterwards. I think in general I am bottling a lot of emotions up so it may not be completely T related.

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